While each stage of pregnancy has given me cause to scroll through pregnancy apps every night wondering what the heck is going on with my body, this third trimester is just strange on a whole new level. First of all, I am typing from my living room, and every inch of it is covered in post-baby shower gifts. I’ve never gotten so many things I can’t actually use yet. I’m also in shock at how a tiny human being can require SO MUCH gear. Seriously. I have lived in with less in my 9×9 foot room in NYC.
Another strange experience is birthing class, where they subject pregnant women and their partners to 5 hours of sitting in one spot. HELLO, my back. My legs. My everything was cramping, but apparently I was the only one who cared, because whenever I looked around the room, the other moms were sitting quietly taking notes and sipping from their water bottles (yeah, they ALL brought water bottles, and I didn’t. They probably all took their pre-natals that morning too, which I of course forgot too).
And then there’s the material we covered. They say the more informed you are about labor and birth, the better. But, I think I’m actually more anxious now, knowing what my body is going to do. Like, is it really ok for a pelvis to open that wide? I know women have been doing this since Eve, but can I actually do it? Is my husband ever going to be able to un-see any of this? Somebody, give me some straight answers.
This is the third trimester. This is when stuff starts to hit home. Cute bump girl gushing over the first ultrasound pics has become waddling whale mama who feels ninja moves on repeat from her belly.
And somewhere surrounded by these piles of pink onesies, “Goodnight Moon,” and stuffed animals; somewhere above the heartburn, nausea, and achy back, there is a peaceful advent of anticipation. I’ve spent these 8 months consumed by pregnancy, but strangely I’m tired of reading about pregnancy and all its symptoms. Now, it’s more about my heart and the way it’s bursting-at-the-seams-ready to see this little girl face-to-face and just to love her.
This is the third trimester. Each day feels infinitely closer to the close of a chapter and a new version of the rest of my and my husband’s life together. Am I scared? Completely. Is the house ready? Hardly. But we’re ready (foolishly perhaps) for love to grow and hearts to stretch and for a new soul to take on all our adventures.